What do you think of when I say “over the top?”  No, it’s not a sexy sex term, pervert.

FROM A REVIEW ON YELP:

This is classic “generic American” pizza at it’s absolute best. If you want the best NY-style pizza, go to NY, if you want the best “California” Pizza, go have fun driving in LA . . and if you want pizza that tastes as good as you always wished all other unpretentious middle-American pizzas actually tasted, you come to Colusa county, CA.

How many times have you seen a billboard, menu photo, or flier for some random middle-of-the-road pizza joint, and the photo looks delicious – - but no matter how hungry you are, the taste of the actual pie never quite lives up to how good you hoped and dreamed it would?  Well, once you taste a slice of pepperoni at Riverbank, you’ll realize what crap you’ve been settling for all these years.

A Riverbank pie is a three-prong attack: a marinara that is sweeter and tangier than you’ll find elsewhere without tasting at all artificial (go ahead and ask for extra sauce in the pie, it’s that good), a chewy flower-kissed crust that succeeds by being good enough to eat on it’s own (a little butter, garlic, and olive oil and it’s a meal unto-itself), and a blanket of molten mozzarella cheese that sandwiches in the sauce without overdoing things.

I’ve spent the last 20 years of my life trying to convince myself that this pizza really isn’t as good as I’ve always known it was.  I grew up in Colusa county, and remember when Riverbank Pizza actually was a tiny shack right on the banks of the Sacramento river (it’s a few blocks from the river now). . . So I’ve always assumed that I was a bit biased in my affection – - but I just had a large extra-sauce pepperoni from them last week while I was up visiting family – - and I’m finally prepared to rule out nostalgia/sentimentality as a significant factor.

I’ve by no means had every pie in NY, but I always eat at every reputable joint I can find when I’m lucky enough to be over there.  I’ve lived in LA for 10 years, and there couldn’t be more than 2 or 3 great pizza joints that I haven’t already sampled extensively here (Zelos’ cornmeal pizza in Monrovia being one of my current faves). . . but I’ve had enough pie in the past few decades to confidently recommend Riverbank to anyone who wants to taste the pinnacle of unpretentious, affordable, delicious “generic American style” pizza.

I eat reasonably healthy these days, I only eat pizza on special occasions, and on those occasions, I’m ordering lighter non-meaty things like pizza Margaretta, or some wacky Californian concoction combining non-standard caramelized veggies and crumbling cheeses.  When I go to Riverbank, I order a good old-fashioned greasy pepperoni with extra sauce, something I wouldn’t dare order from anyone else on this planet – - nobody else has the flavor to make something so simple taste so perfect. . . I’m not going to clog my arteries for anything less than the best.

If you appreciate regional pies of extraordinary quality, you owe it to yourself to make the journey to Riverbank at least once.  Of course it looks very unassuming from the outside.  Of course the interior decor is only what it needs to be to make the locals feel welcomed (though they had some awesome sci-fi/horror memorabilia up on the walls last time I was in). . . don’t go casting judgment until you’re face to face with your first Riverbank pie.

Colusa is not a town you’re likely to be “passing through” (highway 20 and 45 that pass through the town are mainly used for travel between other nearby rural communities, AFAIR) – - but if you find yourself on the I-5 between Sacramento and Chico/Redding, Riverbank is worth the 20 mile due-east detour from the interstate.

And yes, like the other reviewer mentioned, I too crave this pizza daily.  DAILY!

 

- Patrick K.

Well, maybe a sexy-ish term, like what they say about pizza and blow jobs:

This is the best pizza I have ever had in my entire life. I do like other styles of pizza (that are also the best pizzas in my life), but if I had to only pick one favorite, this is it!

 

- Martin S.

Ah, but what is all this sweet work worth:

This place was lousy.  Don’t waste your time or money! People are rude.

- Eric Z.

FILE UNDER: DON’T CALL ME EARNEST, THAT’S A SPICY MEATBALL